Optimism and Realism

The most impressive part of this chapter is "Cultivate Optimism in Yourself". I didn't know that it is important to "cultivate" optimism  to be a leader and we can do it by ourselves, because I thought optimism was one of the natural characteristic of individuals. The author says the key lies in inner dialogue(like "self-talk), but I'm not sure it is effective. that's because it seems to be like telling a lie to ourselves, and in somewhere of my mind I may feel like "actually I'm not thinking like that, it is impossible..." In that case, how can I be optimistic???? I like "ABCDE" model (adversity, beliefs, consequences, dispute, energy), but I like this method more. 
(http://greatist.com/happiness/how-be-optimistic-about-everything)

• Find the good. Even in less-than-great situations, there’s a way to find something positive. It may be hard to see at first, but try looking closer! (I may be completely lost, but the view from here sure is pretty.)

• Write it down. At the end of the day, write down a few good things that happened, like finishing a big report at work or getting an email from an old friend. The habit makes it easier to appreciate the positive parts of life.

• Speak with success. Sometimes it’s not the specific situation that determines a good or bad mood, but how we talk about it. (The exam may have been super hard, but telling friends we tried our best may cheer us up.)

• Forget the green-eyed monster. It’s easy to compare ourselves to others, becoming envious of what we don’t have. Instead, try to appreciate the good qualities and remember what we're grateful for.

• Take control: Science has shown people feel more optimistic about situations they can control. So take a seat behind the driver’s wheel and remember choices like working out more and eating healthfully are (almost always) yours!

• Smile! Grin at this: In one study, participants who held a pen in their mouth (causing them to use their smiling muscles) perceived cartoons to be funnier than those without the pen. So not only are smiles contagious, they may actually make situations seem better! 

• Stay balanced. Life isn't all good, all the time, so don't worry if those positive thoughts don’t flow freely. Staying realistic is also important to help manage anxiety and boost productivity.

On the other hand, the author also emphasizes the importance to see the reality. I was surprised that Shackleton was too optimistic and blind to the reality. I agree with the idea that leaders should have a person who tell the truth and stay in touch with reality. In some cases, like Shackleton, leaders work too hard to be optimistic to keep the good atmosphere within the team. As the quotation above mentions, "stay balanced" is important. But... how can we make the decision like "in this case we should be realistic" or "we should be optimistic" in real situation?? That will be tough question....

"Optimism and Realism" (I do not know why but I can't post this video as usual)

This video's explanation is really clear and may be the clue to answer my last question.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95vsnNzz2_A